Friday, May 20, 2011

Just in case you remember me


(A letter to husband from a wife who is leaving him ,though she does'nt want to, but she has to)
Just in case you remember me
Remember the idle evening sunrays  with golden hue in my hairs…when you explained why it was necessary for you to go 
Remember how my eyes smiled concealing nothing within….you could have seen my soul if you wished to
Remember my slanting tooth in an otherwise perfect set…you found it funny
Remember my half comic half seductive smile towards  you……I tried my level best to hold your attention
Remember my tears when in complete submission I uttered I love you…. with a finality only comparable to death
Remember my goosebumps on your first touch……I know you knew it from your sense of triumph that you were the first to  touch me
But most importantly do remember that I will be waiting for you but not forever
Because life is too short and too precious to be wasted on such fantasies like you
And dear I still love you but don’t want to be sorry for that for whole of my life


Collective Impotence


Anurag’s office timings were like any other office so when He used to reach bus stand it was the worst part of his daily routine due to excessive traffic of commuters like him and buses, no one wished to spend a single second more in that  place than what one was compelled to. But today it seemed was worse as He had to encounter a crowd and sensing the futility of trying to get past it , he stayed where He was .He like every other Indian had to know what  was going on whenever there was a crowd on road so He craned his neck to see.

 A young sales man type guy(off course with a tie on) was being severely beaten by a rather thin looking dark coloured man .This young man was at the receiving end of choicest abuses mainly referring to his mother and sister. Anurag  gathered from bystanders that this young man had accidently brushed motorbike of this local goon ,goon was resident of bus stand area and some kind of president of bus stand hawkers association. He was a self proclaimed liberator of so called poor porters like himself.Sales man was muscular and surely less than thirty but not adept to such physical confrontation, simply put he lacked the courage and probably was afraid of consequences as they say one never can be sure what these goon types are capable of.

Anurag  was dead sure that it was grave injustice towards that poor young man but all local shopkeepers  and pedestrians were mere bystanders and then what if the goon carried a weapon or had supporters nearby. It would be plain idiocy to challenge him in his area ,anyways Anurag had a family to look after. Just when He thought that why no one was calling police He saw a constable standing by a paan shop observing the proceedings around him in a rather nonchalant  manner as our great sages have advised to see everything but not be part of nothing. Anurag was preparing to leave after having a reality check from that great sage constable, probably trying to walk in his footsteps. Finally young man full of tears and bruises gave his wallet and watch to the goon and walked away struggling with his torn shirt ,his bike already confiscated by traffic police. crowd started dispersing deploring the state of lawlessness and goondaraj blaming the police and incumbent government .                           
He  too cursed the goon with filthiest abuses He could think of, everyone had a simple equation in mind, vulgarity in curses and number of curses is inversely proportional to guilt of inaction or put in simple words – impotency. When everyone is impotent ,no one is impotent or rather at least wont be called so . Collective impotence nullifies individual impotence .  Mind playing tricks with the body and soul once again it seems.

A couple of months had passed and as nowadays such incidents are heard often especially in news channels , so slowly that incident faded in his  memory. Now He started to regard that incident as part and parcel of life and perhaps that was destiny of people like him. 

Ganesh chaturthi was nearing so there was great hustle bustle in market , anurag was somehow moving amidst crawling traffic  just when He was nearing a traffic signal went red and so a car suddenly stopped  he could not prevent his bike from brushing a bike while applying brakes. He was about to apologize but   suddenly He was horrified as the biker was none other than the fearsome goon of previous incident. He thundered” you think that this road belongs to your father ,what are you a babu sucking blood of innocent poor people, I will teach you who has power over here.” Then he slapped him  hard. Anurag was virtually paralyzed but somehow He managed to park his scooter by the roadside. Goon continued shivering in anger “ you people think you can manage everything , but I am king of bus stand no one can face me here ,police is in his pocket “ with this he surveyed the crowd which was surrounding them by now ,to  utter dismay of anurag  everyone tried to avoid his gaze.

Suddenly in a fit of anger he charged towards anurag ,He could visualize himself as the poor guy from previous incident as all events of that day flashed past his eye in a split second. This crowd like any other crowd was a impotent ,inactive ,mute crowd , he knew that most of them had sympathy  but He doubted that any of them had empathy and so their behavior nothing  unexpected. He felt his limbs had stopped functioning so He could nt even cover his face to prevent his kick but then  to his complete bewilderment He saw that goon had been pushed struggling to find his balance. There stood a middle aged man probably in his late forties thin but somewhat muscular . Goon was equally amazed at his behavior he  tried to reason with this man and told him that why he was trying to commit suicide for some stranger perhaps goon thought him to be a lunatic.

His savior did'nt look like one, he had a multi compartment metallic lunch box in one hand and a black leather file bag in other, probably he held some lowly position in some office. He said in a calm voice, to crowd in general pointing towards anurag “ who is there being beaten by a goon ,soul already beaten to death by boss or wife or children, devoid of all  hope and courage ,ready to surrender at slightest sound of whip-is that some fat bellied stranger –no,my friend no its your future. Whose fight is this--   his speech was cut by a powerful blow from the goon blood was dripping from his nose and he fell on ground . Anurag’s limbs had not started to function till now, he was trying to fight the feeling that it was his fight which had got this man involved .

He did nt had to suffer much as the man threw a disgraceful glance towards Anurag and his lunch box struck  the goon with inhuman speed ,in a flash this man was sitting on his chest and pounding the goon savagely. People had dropped their heads some old men were even trying  to fight their tears but such reversal instilled some amount of confidence in crowd ,young boys were first to lead the crowd and slowly all of them joined in giving a sound thrashing to goon. The constable who apparently was permanently stationed in paan shop was called and was forced to arrest him under public pressure ,when the goon abused constable and tried to make him remember about a certain amount paid as bribe  this constable too had  to prove his honesty by handling a  couple of lathi blows to  goon.some local shop keepers who were apparently frequently harassed by this goon promised the constable  to come if they were called for statements in court.

That man had vanished from the scene by then like thin air,in a way Anurag  felt  relieved by his absence because He doubted his own ability to even face him  or thank him . He knew how to thank him and He may lack that amount of courage required for that but somehow He knew that He would be able to muster it if situation so demands.

Events culminated  in a rather unexpected fashion when He read in newspaper that the constable was promoted because  he had staked his life while chasing and sinle handedly capturing the goon near outer ring road it turned out that the goon carried  reward of 5000/-  and was absconding .